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17.
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by Craig Turnwall
“We went swimming in the duck pond.”
“You did what?”
We went swimming in the duck pond, it’s right over there.”
“Why did you go swimming in the duck pond?”
“Ducks do it.”
“You’re not a duck. You’re going to get the car seat all wet.”
“I’ll sit on my hands.”
“Your hands?”
“Ya, my hands.”
“If you shoes are wet, don’t you think your hands are?”
“Possibly. It doesn’t matter.”
“How can it not matter?”
“It’s just details, look at those people, they don’t care.”
“They’re bronze statues.”
“See, they’ve got it figured out.”
“Are you serious?”
“Are you?”
“Yes I’m serious.”
“Then so am I.”
“How sober are you?”
“Very.”
“I am exactly inversely proportional to your sobriety.”
“So you are drunk.”
“Did I say that?”
“You almost did.”
“Almost what?”
“Said you were drunk.”
“Who’s drunk?”
“You are god dam it!”
“I am?”
“Yes you are…don’t you remember swimming in the duck pond?”
“Who was swimming in the duck pond?”
“You were!”
“I was?”
“Yes.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Why?”
“My clothes are all wet.”
“Why in the fuck do you think they’re that way.”
“I must have walked through some rain.”
“Some rain?....you can see the stars!”
“You can?”
“Fucking look up there1”
“I don’t want to get rain in my eye.”
“It’s NOT FUCKING RAINING!”
“Why are you shouting?”
“Because you’re all wet. You were swimming in the duck pond.”
“The duck pond?”
“Yes…the duck pond.”
“Did you know I’m all wet?”
“Are you coming, or am I leaving you here.”
“Leaving me where?”
“Wet and drunk and stupid.”
“Who’s wet and drunk?”
“Look..you’re drunk and you’ve been swimming in duck shit for the last fifteen minutes.”
“I’m not the only one.”
“The only one what?”
“The only one who’s staring.”
“Who’s staring?”
“Those people.”
“Those aren’t people, they’re trashcans.”
“I think they like you.”
“What?”
“They’re not moving.”
“They’re not moving because they’re short and round and made of metal.”
“I smell like duck shit.”
“And why do you think that is?”
“Those people. Those people must be duck people.”
“Duck people?”
“Duck people?”
“I don’t know, you said it.”
“Said what?”
“That those trashcans are duck people.”
“Did you know I’m wet?”
“We ARE GOING TO THE CAR NOW!”
“The car?”
“Yes, the car.”
“But I’ll get the seat wet.”
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Craig Turnwall
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