Character Map - by Craig Turnwall

Character Map:

Picture: leaves on cold white sidewalk as continents

°∞So I dropped off seven pounds.°±

°∞Seven pounds?°±

°∞Yeah, seven pounds, two little bags about this high,°± hand two feet above the ground.

°∞Seven pounds, nineteen dollars, I couldn°Øt believe it so I ask, °∞°±Is there a mistake? I just dropped off these two little bags and it°Øs nineteen dollars, wait a minute.°±°± But they just look at me. I have one pair of underwear in the whole load and it°Øs missing and they°Øre trying to tell me it°Øs nineteen dollars!°±

°∞So what did you tell them? I mean, did they say anything?°±

°∞Yeah, they kept telling me it was nineteen dollars for five pounds or something like that and there weren°Øt any guarantees about certain pieces,°± left arm up to wipe off nose, right hand nestled on hip, elbow up and out. °∞I tell this little guy, wearing glasses and trying to speak English but he doesn°Øt fucking have it°≠°±°±Don°Øt tell me I DON°ØT know what I had in my bags, I know what I had in my bags, there was one pair of underwear, white panties and they°Øre gone. Now, I don°Øt have the ten dollars to go out and buy another pair when you screwed up°≠PLUS, you°Øre charging me nineteen dollars for eight dollars worth of laundry? Are you watching my lips move?°±°±

°∞They°Øll getcha, sure as shit they°Øll getcha. My friend Shelly, same thing happened to her. They told her it was fourteen pounds, eighty cents a pound, it should have come out to°≠ocho, nine, ten, eleven°≠just under twelve dollars right? Sixteen dollars! Claimed there was some extra charge due to heavy linens and folding°≠.Shelly never asked them to fold, they just did it! So what°Ød you do?°±

°∞I told them, I mean, after I talk to them on the phone°≠that I wasn°Øt going to pay for all that shit, the sign said seventy cents and I want seventy cents.°±

°∞Where°Øs the remote? Was that Crazy Patty that just walked by? Was it Jim?°±

°∞I told them, °∞°±You ruined the only pair of underwear that was in the entire load, you pay me for the underwear and I°Øll pay you the nineteen dollars°≠plus you°Øre ripping me off so you°Øre lucky I°Øm not reporting you, or something.°±°±

°∞You should have been tougher. They°Øll only listen if you got something in your back pocket, they°Øre smarter than you think.°±Å6¶5
°∞Yeah, well, I gave them a twenty dollar bill and told them I wanted five back.°±

°∞Good for you! Damn right you should have done that! What°Ød they say?°±

°∞They told me I couldn°Øt do that°≠the bill was nineteen dollars, they couldn°Øt change it from what it was on the ticket. They didn°Øt write it up, whoever took my clothes wrote it up°≠that°Øs what they have to go off of.°±

°∞Did you ask who wrote up your ticket?°±

°∞No. They had my fucking clothes, what was I going to do, sit there and try and reason with them°≠by the time they have them it°Øs already too late and they know they have you°≠they know it, they guy just stood at the register staring, he didn°Øt care, just stood there all bug eyed°≠waiting for me to answer.°±

°∞So what°Ød you do?°±

°∞Shhhh°≠..here comes Crazy Patty, don°Øt let her see John in here°≠did you see what happened last time? She and Roger got into it and the he threw her into the dartboard before Val got her arm in...°±

°∞Did you get your clothes you poor thing?°±

°∞Eighteen dollars later.°±

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